Weird Al Yankovic - One More Minute

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One More Minute
By Weird Al Yankovic

Well, I heard that you're leavin'
Gonna leave me far behind
'Cause you found a brand new lover
You decided that I'm not your kind

So I pulled your name out of my rolodex
And I tore all your pictures in two
And I burned down the malt shop where we used to go
Just because it reminds me of you

That's right, you ain't gonna see me cryin'
I'm glad that you found somebody new
'cause I'd rather spend eternity eating shards of broken glass
Than spend one more minute with you

I guess I might seem kind of bitter
You got me feeling down in the dumps
'Cause I'm stranded all alone in the gas station of love
And I have to use the self-service pumps!

Oh, so honey, let me help you with that suitcase
You ain't gonna break my heart in two
'Cause I'd rather get a hundred thousand paper cuts on my face
Than spend one more minute with you

I'd rather rip out my intestines with a fork
Than watch you go out with other men
I'd rather slam my fingers in a door
Again and again and again and again and again!

(Spoken) Oh, darling, can't you see what I am saying

I'd rather have my blood sucked out by leeches
Shove an ice pick under a toenail or two
I'd rather clean all the bathrooms in Grand Central Station with my tongue
Than spend one more minute with you

Yes, I'd rather jump naked on a huge pile of thumbtacks
Or stick my nostrils together with crazy glue
I'd rather dive into a swimming pool filled with double-edged razor blades
Than spend one more minute with you

I'd rather rip my heart right out of my ribcage with my bare hands
And then throw it on the floor and stomp on it till I die...
Than spend one more minute with you